This phrase came to mind as I was drifting between sleep and consciousness this morning.
“Disruption. Create space for new things to grow.”
I was reminded of a painful break-up I went through 11 years ago. More precisely, it was a disengagement. The break-up process lasted an agonizing 3 months. During that time, I contorted myself into positions a seasoned yogi couldn’t fathom. A desperate hope to hold onto some semblance of the future I had imagined.
One day, I allowed myself to let go.
I was walking home from work, the cloud of desperate fog lifted. I was able to see clearly. I looked at all the things I had promised over the past 3 months, the totality of all the compromises I had made. I realized two things. First, that all of these promises, on top of who I am as a person, was not enough for my partner. And second, but more importantly, I was not OK with the accumulation of compromises I had made.
I no longer recognized myself. I realized in that moment, that the decision wasn’t his alone. I realized I had the power to choose myself and to choose a different future.
I broke it off for good. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I knew in my bones that choosing myself was the right decision.
Through that painful disruption, I had the perspective to think about the future I truly wanted. No baggage attached. No one else's dreams to consider. From my experience, I had learned more clearly what I wanted, and what I didn't want.
That disruption created the opportunity to meet my future husband. A man that doesn’t ask me to contort myself to fit into the box he’s created for me. A true partner. Someone who encourages me to reach for more, instead of asking me to sacrifice my dreams for his.
Whether we like it or not, we are in a time of global disruption.
Can we be intentional about this moment?
Can we pause, take a look at where we are, and ask ourselves if this is where we want to be?
Have we compromised too much humanity? Have we compromised too much connection?
What are the pieces of our culture, our everyday life, that feel off? Let’s intentionally choose to reset them.
We are going through a break-up with our past. The initial adjustment is the hardest, as we relearn what it’s like to be with ourselves and create new routines. We may be in the same house, but the energy is different.
It’s scary, and it’s painful to let go of the future we had imagined and step into uncertainty. But it opens up the possibility for a better and more intentional future. We have the opportunity to choose the future we want, instead of being stuck with the future we had.
As a species, as a culture, we are going through a metamorphosis.
Let’s keep the foundation that worked, and update the worn-out pieces, the parts that no longer serve us. We can remove the walls that confine us.
It’s time to take the baton from the previous generation. With a beginner's mind and fresh legs, we’ll move us ALL forward to a better culture and an intentional future.
Let’s leave our outgrown baggage behind and create something beautiful and human in the space this disruption has given us. Let’s create a future with intentional values of equality, connection, community, humanity, stability, generosity, opportunity, and possibility.
If we choose it, this time is a gift to change direction.